MY THOUGHTS

I wanted to be like wave Strong but also beautiful Calming but sometimes can be deadly It can be more beautiful if the waves blends with sunset The color of the sunset, and the sound the waves Match perfectly

March, 24th 2023  Today is the second day of Ramadhan And this year I spend Ramadhan only with my dad It's not like any other Ramadhan tho When my family is still complete When my mother is still alive It's been almost 3 years since she passed away, left us abruptly I kind of miss her almost everyday Life is never be the same without her On Ramadhan, I miss the smell of her fried foods and the smell of her rice cake Which she always made every Ramadhan to sell But now, this Ramadhan the house feels very quiet without her present Sometimes Dad had to breakfasting alone because I'm unable to arrive home on time I feel exhausted sometimes Working in the company from 8am-6pm then go home and arrive at home around 9pm After that I had to do something like clean the house and cook something Sometimes I feel about to break down because I feel weak But I have to do that on repeat almost everyday And I know that I have to be strong ....

 March, 16th 2023 Last year, may be the toughest year of my life. Not only last year but since 2020, it was my tough year. I lost my mom in 2020, it was all of a sudden. I never thought that she'll left me so soon. I never imagine before that I'll lose her earlier. Since then, my life has changed. But I still have my husband that time, my partner, who always be there for me after my mom passed away. He's the only person that I have, he's a friend, my best friend. My life is depend on him. Because I never able to live alone before. I get lonely so easily, I can't do everything by myself. I was so clingy, always needed someone to accompany me. I thought my husband will always be my best friend. But then things changed, and our relationship getting messy. He never come home, always leave me alone in our house. He never pick up my call, never reply my message. He let me sleep alone in our bed, eat alone in our house, and going to work alone. I always come home from work...